Hello! I'm Jamie. I am passionate about co-creating a whole-hearted and compassionate world where ALL beings have the opportunity to thrive. We each have a unique and powerful gift to share for our personal and collective healing and evolution. Here are a few of my gifs that I offer.
At the heart of my coaching is transformation. Not because we need to change or there’s any place we will “arrive” and THEN we’ll be happy. We transform because it's essential to our wellbeing and inevitable in the constantly changing world we live in. I believe we are alive to create, play and grow. While coaching with me, either one-on-one or in small groups, you will align with your Self, connect to your vision, and confront your saboteurs to create the love, life and relationships you dream of.
Courageous Co-parenting Coaching
A radical approach to help parents transform their relationship from lonely, stuck and struggling to compassionate, cooperative and supportive.
No matter if your together or not!
Have you ever looked back at a moment in time and realized it was the moment your entire life changed?
You never know when that moment could be for you. Maybe today?
I know. It’s a pretty big question but stay with me here, because I am 100% confident and passionate about rewriting the “broken home” paradigm. Read this post in full in case this is what you’ve been looking for.
Here’s the thing...
Two years ago, I was drowning in grief, fear and absolute furry!
My husband had decided he was done trying to save our marriage and all of a sudden I had to let my 2 year old twin boys spend HALF of their time AWAY from me, their MOM!
I had no idea what their time was like with their dad, what the other home looked or felt like, what they were eating, or how they were feeling.
I felt powerless, hopeless and SOOOOOO angry.
I was TERRIFIED of what this was doing to my children because I knew the statistics. I knew children of divorce are…
❌ Twice as likely to drop out of high school
❌ Twice as likely to commit suicide
❌ And 300% more likely to experience mental health issues
Plus, I felt the negative impact of my parents’ unhealthy divorce in my own childhood and how that impacted my relationships. (Which may be one of the reasons I was getting a divorce.)
Without spilling the full saga here (because who has time for that?!), the gist is this:
I decided to fight back! What he was doing to me and the children was wrong and cruel. We went back and forth, making threats, and ultimatums, and began the process of litigation.
I was advised to do everything I could to keep CONTROL and power over the kids. That I should fight for full or at least more than 50/50 custody. So that’s what I did. And so did he. The fight was on! We were fighting for the possession of our children rather than working for the well-being of our children.
I was under so much stress, and exhaustion being an under-resourced single parent, trying to do it all on my own, having to deal with constant toxic messages from their dad, on top of the emotional turmoil of seeing what my children were going through.
While I knew the scary and tragic statistics of divorce I also knew that children will suffer from the same negative impacts if the parents have a hostile and toxic relationship, regardless if they are married or not.
Likewise, the children will adapt to their new living arrangements and even thrive when their parents are at peace with one another. I was determined to make it better for them.
We did mediation and tried therapy together. I did several retreats and classes on grief and forgiveness. I even tried communicating directly with his new partner so that I at least had some insight and connection with my boys while they were with them (but that got messy REAL fast!)
Despite trying everything I could think of to make things better, to get him to work with me rather than fight me, I honestly couldn’t see a way through. I was on the brink of a total meltdown.
And then… sort of magically, things shifted. In a BIG way!
Something clicked in me and I saw a way forward. A way that ALL of us could be happy, peaceful, and more resourced. But most importantly, a way that the negative impacts of a “broken home” would NOT be my children’s experience.
I was skeptical, no doubt if this would really work - I’d already tried everything, I thought.
But I dove in, humbled myself, and did the work.
And I’m so glad I did. Opening myself up to a new approach and fully committing to my transition to become the master of my own destiny has meant that my children feel happy and at peace with their two homes and my ex and I are no longer at war.
There is peace. I have more time with my kids. They get to spend time with both of their parents. They feel free and confident that they have access to either of us whenever they want or need it.
Because I finally let go and invested in this radical reframe, I feel so much less stressed, and more supported, and our children know we are on the same team working together to make their life the best they can be.
But - time to get raw here - this was not an overnight thing.
This change took time and a lot of hard work!
I didn’t just sit by while it miraculously happened on its own.
I rolled up my sleeves and became obsessed with every training, mentorship, and resource I could get my hands on, (to the tune of $20,000 or more) combined with over a decade of professional coaching, resolution communication, positive phycology, and behavior change training, trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together.
Here, I need to remind you. I did all this work to shift the dynamics of our co-parenting relationship on my own. Meaning, this transformation process was not something that my ex and I decided to work on and shift together. The changes I made were within myself and how I communicated with him shifted everything for us and he naturally began to act differently.
It was clear. The proof I’d taken the right steps was (and still is) in the results!
I’d freed my children and myself from the lifelong trauma of a “broken home.” Yes, they have two homes, but they are anything but broken!
!!! It’s not the divorce or separation that hurts the children, it’s how it’s done. !!!
✨Now, I have an incredibly collaborative and supportive co-parenting relationship and our boys have an expanded family with two very happy homes of other adults and children they love and call family.
I’m now able to spend so much more time with my kids and have more flexibility in our schedule. I was able to spend the entire 4th of July holiday with them when it wasn’t “my day” to have them, and they got to experience the joy of all of us there together.
I have a say in what they eat, watch, do, and experience. Now, I don’t always get “my way” and our homes are, of course, different, but there is a sense of cohesion and collaboration that was not possible before.
We have let go of the fight, are able to see the bigger picture, and have cracked the code to effective and collaborative communication. It’s not that we always agree or that there’s never tension, but we can now move through it much more gracefully and not harm each other or our kids.
All because of that one moment 2 years ago, and the decision to make that leap of faith and take action.
If you haven’t felt that moment of freedom when the weight lifts off your shoulders… just wait. It’s possible and it’s glorious!
Very important to note here… PLEASE don’t confuse this work as a “better” alternative to doing the hard work of investing in your relationship and keeping a family together. I am not suggesting or advocating for an “easy way out!” If I could have kept my marriage and my family together I would have! I truly wish we could have. This work if for those who know in their core that staying in their relationship is toxic and damaging to themselves and their children and it’s better for everyone to separate. And if you’re not sure, this work can actually help make that clear. It’ll either make your relationship stronger or support you through a peaceful and loving separation when that becomes clear.
So here’s what’s up…
I want to share this process and skills with those of you who are ready to find the courage and take that leap. And not just my own lessons but tried and true methods and skills for relational repatterning.
Those who are truly ready to embrace a new way and devote themselves to forging a new family life for you and your children.
I’ve been working on something incredible behind the scenes that’ll mean you don’t have to waste 2 or more years of your life and countless $$$ on struggle street like I did. You’ll be able to fast track straight to having harmony for you and your children.
That sounds like quite the advantage, no?
The problem I’m having is this:
As much as I’d like to help every family, my work is a custom fit, deep dive process that is deeply supportive and fundamentally life changing. As a result I can only open up to a few select Courageous Co-parents at a time.
Components of the program include:
Healing and Empowerment, individual one-on-one personal transformational coaching sessions for yourself and your co-parent separately.
Deep Dive and Thrive, couple’s resolution coaching for you and your co-parent together to have those crucial and difficult conversations in a productive and healing way.
Clarity and Relief, sessions for each parent; an exclusive live classes and support group coaching for mothers and fathers to separately work through and conquer the challenges of co-parenting.
Never Alone, at your fingertips support messaging.
Heal and Re-pattern, positive psychology app to re-pattern dysfunctional thought patterns and create peace of mind and healthy relationships. Grow the three core mental muscles to thrive in challenging times.
From Pain to Possibility, an exclusive online social platform with support guides, classes, and more.
So, next steps?!
This is for you if you’re considering separation, in the process, already separated or in that unclear place of should I stay or should I go… each co-parenting relationship and family is unique but the process and transformation I offer works the same.
Some come into my program on their own and find tremendous change while others join the program together with their co-parent.
Either way I custom fit the program so you can transform your co-parenting relationship from conflict and resentment to respect and relief in WAY less time and energy than it took me or the lifetime it often takes others.
“Sure that sounds GREAT” you’re probably thinking, “but there’s no way that’s possible for us.”
I thought that too.
For a long time. But what if you’re wrong? What if you are ready but just a little unsure?
It’s not too late!
For those of you who have already begun the painful separation process, there’s still so much to be done to create the co-parenting relationship you and your children need. This program will help you and your co parent work together in a productive, cooperative and supportive way to create the best possible scenario for you and your kids. Let’s face it, this transition can be one of the most painful and expensive experiences in your life.
Don’t do it alone.
"But Wait! I don't want my relationship to end, but I'm afraid it's too late."
I hear you!!! The thought of losing your relationship and breaking up your family is unbearable.
Rest assured, this is NOT the end and your relationship isn’t necessarily over! My clients find this is the beginning of a journey to the healing and transformation that is essential and inevitable whether you stay together or not. The question is what support do you have to make this transition happen in the least harmful and most productive way possible?
"I believe in creating a community network to support the whole family no matter what it may look like. I'm inspired to heal and rewrite the stigma of a 'broken home' and expand the web of our traditionally defined family systems."
The greatest gift and most transformative experience of my life is being the mother of amazing 5yr old twin boys, Jayvyn and Xhaiden Heartsong, who make my heart sing in SO many different ways.
I'm proud to be a co-parent in an expanded family paving the way for more harmonious and supportive alternatives to raise children outside of a nuclear family.
My husband and I were on the brink of collapse. I knew it, yet I kept fighting (literally) for our family to stay together. We had been in counseling for several months and, though it wasn’t easy, I wasn’t willing to give up. But the day before our twins' second birthday my husband announced that he was DONE! He declared we would get a divorce, become co-parents and that our boys would have 2 homes instead of one. My world shattered!
This crucial and life altering decision was made unilaterally and was executed with unnecessary trauma for both of us and our boys. In hindsight, had we known there was a different way and had the support to transition our family to the configuration that ultimately supports us now, it would have been SO much less painful.
Three years later my “wasband” (aka ex-husband) and I have an incredibly collaborative and supportive co-parenting relationship and our boys have an expanded family with two very happy homes with other adults and children they love and call family. It wasn’t easy! In fact it was incredibly painful at times. Over the course of two years, with the support of several mediators and coaches, we worked hard to resolve conflict, repair trust and create a parenting plan that was best for our boys.
Today I am SO much happier than I ever was in my marriage. We are great co-parents even though we were not great partners. We enjoy weekly family outings all together, we help each other with projects and support each other by collaborating on schedules and goals. Though we may not always agree, we have created a foundation of trust and support that puts our kids at the center of our choices and helps everyone feel loved and supported.
As fate would have it, over the last several years, I have been asked to support numerous friends, colleagues and clients with this all too common life event of separating relationships with young children. So it seems only natural that I apply over 12 years of professional experience and a lifetime of deep personal transformational work to coaching couples with young children through family structure transitions.
There is no one size fits all. Set up a free call to learn more about my process and to see if we are a good match.
My Heart's Song
After owning my own dance school, a 15 year career in modern dance performing and teaching around the world, a MFA in Dance and Higher Education form the University of Utah, then devoting myself to physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing, I became a transformative whole health coach. For 10 years of my coaching career I worked for a Seattle based nationwide healthcare company, Vera Whole Health, as a trainer, facilitator and development coach, certifying health coaches and helping medical professionals to transform healthcare through empathetic listening and coaching skills.
It's always been my dream to have my own studio and community space that I can teach and facilitate the things I love to do like dancing, yoga, holistic fitness, cooking, transformative circle work as well as individual and group coaching. But most importantly my dream was to create a space for community and connection on the path to wholeness and wellbeing. Thanks to taking one step at a time, many coaches along the way and a web of community support, this dream is now a reality!